Dear Wendy,

I have been with my partner for 3 years. In the first 2 years, he continually told me that he needed to be sure that I would stay by him. At first I thought he was just scared due to his last relationship. He kept telling me he didn’t want to be “just another guy” that I dated. So for 2 years, I feel I worked at getting his trust. I changed my plans to be with him when he was available to show flexibility, I bought him things for my house so he would feel comfortable, I gave him a key so he would feel welcome, and I invited him to all my family gatherings so he could see I was proud of him. After 2 years, he asked for time off from me around the holidays so he didn’t have to make a decision between going to my family and his. After the holidays, he came back and I was willing let him in, but the first time I had a bad day, and needed him to show me love, he withdraw saying, “See, you can’t be consistent!”

Signed ~ Am I crazy.

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Dear Wendy,

I recently found out my husband is having an affair. I had been having this feeling that something was wrong for a long time, but he denied anything was going on. Recently I checked his phone when he wasn’t looking and I found out I was right. At first, he denied and said I was crazy, but he finally admitted it and said he realizes he wants our marriage. I don’t know what the truth is anymore because I would have never seen him as a “cheater”. I wrestle with being sad then angry. I don’t want to end my marriage, but I don’t know if I can ever trust him again.

Please help. ~ Saddened

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Dear Wendy,

We’ve been going to couples counseling for a while, but my partner no longer wants to come in because he believes the therapist is “just taking our money”. I thought we were really getting somewhere but now I’m fearful we will stop going just after I thought we were making head way. What are your thoughts? How can I make him go?

~Defeated

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Dear Wendy,

There are two 2 men who want to be in my life and I am confused as to what to do. The first one is a man who I have been in a relationship with and I feel somewhat addicted to. I love how he makes me feel physically but he doesn’t treat me in a way I believe is right for me. He is suspicious, mistrusting and doesn’t seem to be interested in making me a part of his life. The other is someone I have known for a long time. I don’t love him other than as a friend but he couldn’t be nicer, listens to me and goes out of his way for me. We could talk about anything and he is open and trusting. I want to love him, but I don’t. If I could get the man I am physically attracted to act differently it would be perfect. But I know I can’t make him change. What do I do?

~Confused

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