Invest In Your Marriage; Not Your Divorce!
By the time a couple reaches my office door, they have often made the covert decision to divorce. “If this continues, we are through!” “I’ve had enough!” “I don’t know whether to stay or go?” They ask, “How bad is bad enough to leave?”
It always amazes me that people are willing to pay attorneys thousands of dollars to put an end to the suffering in their marriages, when it could cost them far less to learn how to live together, save their families and their life-long finances.
Yes, of course, there are a number or legal issues regarding the termination of any contract, but the marital contract is filled with more than legal concerns. It is filled with hopes and dreams of a perfect life of fulfillment and no matter how much we try to stay relational, we fall helplessly into the emotional whirlwind of connecting to a human being in an intimate way that we will connect with no other. When we find that the one we have placed all our hopes in no longer wants to be with us, we become angry and protective of our “things” because our hearts are so wide open and broken. We often use the courts as a place to “get back at the SOB” for leaving us. Deciding to leave without our spouse’s permission or knowledge was not a part of how we planned our life together.
When your marriage hits some rocky times, seek help. Don’t wait until it tears apart at the seams and becomes a divorce attorney’s ticket to sending their kids to an Ivy League school while yours suffer from wasted resources. Find a counselor or coach who works with couples to help heal the hurts and begin to rediscover how to fall in love again.