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Stages Of Divorce

Marital separation is one of the greatest stresses a person can endure: the separation alone brings about a host of feelings. The change in lifestyle and financial burdens can also create additional stress. The trauma which is inherent in separation has the effect of overloading the parent, making it difficult to attend to the needs of children, who are also experiencing great stress because of the departure of their parent. The absent parent is also experiencing tremendous change. For a time, the single-parent family is overloaded emotionally and unable to meet its own and other people’s needs.

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Successful Couples: 14 Romantic Rules.

1.Use touch…

… Especially in the areas that are rich with nerve endings, such as the ears, neck, nose, forehead, fingertips, and feet. It’s pretty difficult to stay angry when you are being massaged, or simply being lovingly touched. The feel of our loved one’s touch is probably the most soothing remedy for any conflict because it releases serotonin in our brains, flooding us with “feel good” hormones. That’s why massages are seen as “luxurious necessities. If you are working on increasing intimacy, include little touches throughout your day. An ear lobe rub, or gentle massage of the shoulders, neck, hands or forehead are all good non-sexual ways to say “I am interested in you, in how you feel and in keeping us connected.”

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Motherhood: The Ultimate Job!

I recently talked with a friend about how much motherhood has changed since we were raising our own children. I reflected on my 33 years of raising four children in the 80’s and 90’s, and then two more at an age when other couples were sticking with the 2.5 kids they already had.  I would hear, “You have 6! Are you crazy? I can’t even handle 2!” When I became pregnant again in my 40’s, my friends were shocked. “You wanted to do this?” they laughed while they were jetting off to a life they had before kids, while I was once again visiting Disney with a diaper bag.

Every child gave me a different perspective on the roles we play as the keepers of hope. Although many things have not changed, such as worrying about their safety and education, and whether we are doing a good job, my core values have remained the same. Parenting is NOT for the weak of heart.

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What Successful Couples Do: Ground Rule #1

When couples argue, they often forget the most important part of the disagreement…the successful make-up process. It means coming back to the table to discuss what went wrong in the first place and how to resolve it. Couples should never avoid coming back to discuss an argument they had. Without their input on what happened, or what they thought happened, some valuable lessons may never be learned. But how does a couple revisit some of the hurt, learn from each other and about themselves, and then move on graciously?

When couples argue, it is generally due to a miscommunication of some sort. He said this, but meant that. She maybe used a word that triggered his memory of some past conflict, and they are off and running. Voices get raised, feelings get hurt, and when we are stressed, the thought process ceases to exist.

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Marital Mission Statement

celtic-treeOur marriage will serve as an example for others, especially our children and grandchildren.